


Turbulence

by anastasiiya



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: M/M, Napoleon Solo is a flight attendant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4770653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastasiiya/pseuds/anastasiiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Napoleon is a flight attendant. Peril is his favorite passenger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Good morning, everyone!” Napoleon grinned at his first class passengers. So far, he had a family of four and two businessmen. “My name is Napoleon and on behalf of our captain and crew, welcome aboard! This is American Airlines flight 8068 with non-stop service from New York to Moscow.

“If you aren’t going to Moscow, please let me or one of my fellow attendants know. We’ll be closing the boarding door in a few minutes, and we’re going to Moscow whether you like or it not.” He got a few chuckles from his passengers, and a nudge from Gaby. He winked at her, and she rolled her eyes and made her way down the aisle to make sure the overhead bins were securely closed.

“If you haven’t, please stow your carry-on luggage underneath the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin. If you can’t find room, feel free to complain but we’ll just end up checking it free of charge after you remove any valuables, like medicine or electronics. But you should be able to find room—we’re not a full flight today.

“Also, if you’re seated next to an emergency exit, you probably are feeling very lucky. Congratulations on the extra leg room!” Napoleon paused again, grinning at the giggling children in the front row.

“Please take the time to read the instructions located in the seatback in front of you. If you don’t wish to perform these functions in the event of an emergency, you’re going to forfeit your lovely extra leg space. Please let us know if you’d like to be reseated. Also, I’d like to remind you that this is a non-smoking flight. Smoking is prohibited on the entire aircraft, including the lavatories. Tampering with, disabling or destroying the lavatory smoke detectors is prohibited by law.

“If you have any questions about our flight today, please don’t hesitate to ask one of our flight attendants. Thanks, guys!”

He hung the microphone and moved around the side of the cabin, grabbing his notepad and a pen with a spooky skeleton bobblehead on top—Halloween was approaching, after all. Napoleon walked back out to the family and smiled.

“Hello there! Can I get you all anything to drink?”

“Apple juice, please!” The little girl chimed.

“Orange juice is better!” The little boy insisted. “Is your name really Napoleon?”

“Yes, I quite like my name.” Napoleon replied. “But if you’d prefer, you can call me Leo.” The mother and father requested water, and Napoleon moved on to his next passenger.

“Hello, sir.” Businessman one looked up from his phone. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

For a cabin that could seat thirty-six passengers, six total was a little disheartening. The family wasn’t going to need anything, and his two businessmen were going to be working or sleeping the whole trip. How unbelievably boring. Napoleon sighed, and made his way back to the front of the plane. After delivering the requested beverages, he made his way back to the microphone.

“Hello everyone! At this time, we request that all mobile phones be turned off or put in airplane mode for the full duration of the flight, as these items might interfere with the navigational and communication equipment on this aircraft. If you happen to have a radio or remote controlled toys, please turn those off as well. We request that all other electronic devices, such as laptops, be turned off until we fly above 10,000 feet. We will notify you when it is safe to use such devices.

“At this time, please make sure your seat back and folding trays are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is correctly fastened. Also, we advise you that as of this moment, any electronic equipment must be turned off. Thank you for your cooperation!”

Such a small number of first class passengers… he knew it wasn’t a full flight, but he still wondered how many Gaby and that other girl had back in economy…?

It wasn’t long before Napoleon launched into his safety standup comedy routine, entertaining his passengers while also informing them about emergency exits, life vests, and oxygen masks. Then they were airborne and Napoleon wandered through his cabin, delivering more drinks and taking dinner orders.

Three hours later he was bored. The family was asleep, businessman A was asleep, and businessman B was passed out because he overindulged in free wine.

For the first time, he wandered towards the back of his cabin. Napoleon pulled back the ugly drapes and looked back into the economy section. Gaby and the other girl (he was terrible at names, but she was some blonde that never really talked to him, Victoria something?) were at the back of the plane, reading magazines and gossiping. He really didn’t care to join them as usually their discussion almost immediately turned to his love life, and it was rather devoid at the moment.

Napoleon sighed and leaned against the wall of the plane, and that’s when he made eye contact with the most disgruntled blond he’d ever seen.

The man was wedged in a middle seat between a snoring elderly gentleman and an overweight lady who had one of those wonky ostrich pillows covering her entire face. His facial expression was hovering somewhere between murderous and resigned, but good Lord he was hot! Everyone else in the section was asleep, and Napoleon realized he could make this man’s day.

Napoleon walked back quietly to the blond’s row.

“Hello there.”

The man grunted at him. Napoleon smiled at him.

“May I please see your boarding pass?”

Napoleon almost laughed out loud at the glare he received, but the man obligingly (if uncomfortably) retrieved his briefcase from under the seat in front of him and pulled out his boarding pass. In the process, he jostled the ostrich lady awake.

Napoleon didn’t feel bad for the ostrich lady. He looked at the pass and sighed.

“Oh dear, it seems we’ve made an error, sir. You should be in the first class cabin.” Napoleon popped the overhead compartment above their row. “Which one is yours?”

“Blue.” The man replied, eyeing Napoleon curiously. Napoleon gently tugged the bag free and maneuvered it to the ground.

“Please come with me, sir. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.” He gestured for the blond to follow him.

Since the majority of the first class passengers were in the first few rows, Napoleon led the man towards the empty back section of his cabin. He popped the overhead bin and turned to grab the bag, but it was already sliding into the compartment above him.

“Thank you.” The blond said quietly, settling into an empty seat.

Napoleon smiled.

“Not a problem. We always want our passengers to have an enjoyable flight.”

“Hmm.” The man replied.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Napoleon asked.

The man eyed him curiously. “Options?”

“For you?” Napoleon grinned. “I can whip together just about anything.”

“Soda water with lime.” The blond replied.

“Not a problem.” Napoleon winked, and wandered back to the front of the plane.

He turned the corner and tried to control his breathing. Cute man. Cute accent. Cute overload. And then he pulled out the man’s boarding pass because he had to know a name. And it was in Russian.

“God damn it.” Napoleon murmured to himself. He shoved the pass back into his pocket and focused on making a drink. It was literally just soda water, but Napoleon still was nervous about it.

“Here you go.” He said upon his return. “Please let me know if you need anything else.”

“…Blanket.” The Russian replied. So Napoleon went to his stash spot and grabbed a blanket.

“…Pillow.” So Napoleon went back to his spot and grabbed a pillow.

The man stared at him for a moment and then yawned. Napoleon laughed lightly.

“Good night.”

“Night.” The man replied. Napoleon returned to his seat at the front of the cabin. He couldn’t help but watch the giant man struggle to cover himself with the standard blanket. He chuckled and grabbed another blanket.

“Excuse me, sir?”

“What?” The blond growled and opened his eyes. “…Oh.”

“Good night.”

“Night.”

When Napoleon turned to check on him again, the man was watching him right back. He blushed, and the man cocked a brow. Napoleon flushed darker and returned to his seat.

They arrived at Moscow in the morning, and Napoleon returned to his post at the microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Moscow! Local time is five AM and the temperature is 50 degrees Fahrenheit, 12 degrees Celsius. Please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the captain turns off the fasten seat belt sign. This will indicate that we have parked at the gate and that it is safe for you to move about the cabin.

“Please check around your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight.

“On behalf of American Airlines and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip,” Napoleon paused to take a breath and made eye contact with the cute blond he’d moved last night. “We are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice day!”

Napoleon watched the blond exit the plane with a wistful sigh, sure that he’d never see the passenger again.

He was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite one I've done so far & I am actually working on chapter two right now.
> 
> much excite. wow.
> 
> I'll repeat my statement on the kink meme here as well: I am kind of new at writing and please be patient with me as this is my first go at a story with multiple chapters.
> 
> I am also new at tags and am not sure if I can update some of them as I go? This is not mature right now, but it will be. Explicit actually but w/e.
> 
> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

“So are you going to tell me what was up with the blond?” Gaby asked as she sipped her third cranberry and vodka. After they finished cleaning the plane, Napoleon and Gaby had gone into Moscow for a few drinks at their hotel. Technically they were still supposed to be at work for two more hours, but neither Napoleon nor Gaby had ever been very good at playing by the rules.

“Huh?” Napoleon replied, looking up from his phone.

Gaby raised a brow.

“Really, Leo.”

He grinned and slid his phone into his pocket. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Right. And I’m the queen of England.”

“Of course, your majesty.” Napoleon flipped Gaby the finger and took a sip of scotch.

“God, I just want to know the dirt on the guy you moved. Is it so hard to talk with your favorite coworker?”

“Pfft.” Napoleon snorted. “Define ‘favorite’ for me, again?”

“Fuck off!” She laughed. Gaby finished her drink and gestured for another. “Should we switch to white Russians to honor your new man?”

“I’ll probably never even see him again and I don’t even know his name.” Napoleon muttered. Napoleon had misplaced the cute man’s boarding pass while cleaning the aircraft. He was really pissed about it, too. “I swear that bitch Victoria must have stole his boarding pass. I don’t know how I lost it.”

“She’s not a bitch.” Gaby chided. “I’ll keep an eye out for him, too. Between the two of us, someone is always on American’s direct to and from Moscow. Victoria might even help, but not with that attitude.”

Napoleon sighed. “He was so cute, too. And grumpy. In fact, he was cute because he was grumpy.”

Gaby rolled her eyes again. “As I said, I’ll keep an eye out.”

“You’re a doll.”

“Pfft.” She flicked his forehead. “That’s why I’m your favorite.”

“Also, you’re really pretty.”

“Thank you, Leo.”

“Like, really pretty.”

“I’m not sleeping with you.” Gaby reminded him.

“Goddamn it.” Napoleon moaned into his scotch. “Who will sleep with me if you won’t and my cute Russian is missing in action?”

Gaby shrugged. “That sounds like a personal problem. Also, if you’re asking me to sleep with you, you’ve had enough scotch.”

“I love scotch.” Napoleon sighed. “Scotch will sleep with me. Scotch understands.”

“Right, then. Time to wrap up, I think.”

The two closed their tab and made their way to their respective hotel rooms.

Napoleon really hoped the blond would be on the return flight, but he wasn’t.

Napoleon worked the New York to Moscow and return flights pretty consistently. He knew a few business passengers by face, but he had never bothered to remember names. He’d never even bothered to learn basic Russian. He should have. Then he could have looked up his blond on the Internet and stalked him to pieces. Napoleon was most definitely that kind of person. He should have been a spy or something.

A few weeks after meeting his most memorable passenger, Napoleon was bundled up in Moscow’s international airport. He cradled a crappy coffee to his chest and had overpriced tissues on his lap. He’d worked the flight over, but then he’d come down with a pretty bad cold during his overnight stay in Russia. He felt kind of dead and wanted to get back to his apartment in New York. It was December and cold and he was single and had no one to buy him nice presents and he was never going to see his cute blond ever again. He’d absolutely begged his boss and was able to get a crappy economy seat, probably middle, in the back of the plane.

Napoleon really thought he could get a better seat with being an employee and all, but apparently it was a very full flight and he was an unappreciative peon that didn’t deserve a comfy seat. Gaby couldn’t do anything to help him, either.

He sniffed into a tissue and took a sip of his coffee. Napoleon wasn’t sure why the return flights left so goddamn early, but he had arrived twenty minutes prior to boarding like requested.

He sighed and closed his eyes, and then he felt someone sit down next to him. He grumbled a bit to himself; there were rows of empty chairs in the terminal at ass-crack-of-dawn o’clock and of course some random Russian sits next to him.

“Excuse me?”

He blearily opened his eyes, and it was his blond Russian.

“Hi.” Napoleon managed.

“Hello.” The blond replied with a small smile. “You all right?”

“Yes.” Napoleon said. “Thanks.”

“Hmm.” Napoleon turned away from him to cough into the crappy coffee. “Boarding pass.”

“What?” Napoleon mumbled.

“Your boarding pass.”

“What about it?”

“Give it to me.” The man rolled his eyes.

“Oh.” Napoleon felt a little dumb. He brought out his phone and opened the app. “Here.”

“Good. You wait.” The stranger said, and then he left.

“Oh.” Napoleon watched him leave wearily, and then realized he’d given his phone to a total stranger in a foreign country. “Oh, shit.”

He got up and trudged after the blond, dragging his ugly company-issued luggage with him.

The blond was at the customer service desk, and Napoleon stood to the side and watched him argue with the representative in Russian.

Napoleon decided he should learn to speak Russian. A lot of his life problems would be solved if he could speak Russian. He watched the two go back and forth and eventually the blond was waving Napoleon’s phone in the representative’s face and Napoleon was pretty sure profanity was involved. He was tired, though, so he wandered over to a pillar to lean a bit.

The blond finished his transaction and turned around, and Napoleon got a very angry glare.

“I told you, wait.” He said on his approach. He handed the phone back to Napoleon. “Here, new seat.”

“Oh.” Napoleon checked his phone. _Upgrade!_ “O-oh my god, you didn’t have to—“

“I know.” The blond replied. “Napoleon.”

“Um.” Napoleon looked up. The guy was a lot taller than Napoleon remembered. “Thank you so much.”

“Hmm.” The blond looked Napoleon up and down. “We get you to New York in one piece.”

“Sure, okay.” Napoleon agreed tiredly. “Can we go sit?”

“Yes.” And they were back to one of the rows in front of their gate before Napoleon could blink.

His Russian coworkers were beginning the boarding process, and to Napoleon’s surprise the blond was tugging on his arm.

“Priority. Come.”

“Okay.” Napoleon grabbed at the space where his bag should be, but the blond was already dragging it. The Russian gave Napoleon a look like he was the stupidest thing on the planet. Napoleon just fumbled for his phone to keep the app open.

The blond rolled his eyes again and waved the newly printed boarding pass in front of Napoleon’s face.

“Hold this.” He sighed. “Dumb cowboy.”

“Okay.” Napoleon replied, too tired to comment. The blond frowned at him, but dragged their carry-on luggage to the plane.

They boarded without any issues, and Napoleon blindly followed the blond to two first class seats on the right side of the plane. He wasn’t so sick that he couldn’t admire as the Russian placed their wheeled bags into the overhead compartment with ease.

“What’s your name?”

“Sit.” The man gestured to the window seat. Napoleon sat.

He muttered something in Russian. Napoleon blinked. 

“Peril?” 

Peril sighed. “Okay.” 

“Huh, that’s a neat name.” Napoleon sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve. Peril gave him a look and handed him his package of tissues. 

“Thanks.” Napoleon cleared his throat and tried to relax into his seat. 

“Sleep.” Peril scolded him.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Napoleon said. “I just drank a lot of coffee, though.” 

“Try.” 

“To sleep? Yeah, maybe I should.” Napoleon shivered, drawing his coat a little tighter around his body. He reached up to turn off the air vents, only to find they were already off. Peril sighed and tugged his scarf from his neck. Napoleon watched him and shook his head. 

“I can’t—“ 

“Shut up.” Peril reprimanded, wrapping the scarf around Napoleon’s neck. “Go to sleep.” 

Napoleon took a deep breath and sighed happily—the scarf smelled _amazing._ He looked up from the scarf to Peril and just stared for a moment. Peril slowly cocked a brow. 

“Yes?” 

“Thank you so much.” Napoleon murmured. “Seriously, I am—“

Peril cut him off with a glare. 

“Go to sleep.” Peril demanded.  

“Okay.” Napoleon yawned.  

Peril rolled his eyes and pulled out a book. Napoleon leaned over to peek at the title. 

“What are you reading?” 

“Go to sleep.” 

“Oh, sounds exciting.” 

“Stop talking.” 

“Hmm.” Napoleon’s head fell against the chair. “Hmm hm hmmm hmm?” 

“Funny, cowboy. Close eyes.” 

“Closed.” Napoleon said, as he shut his eyes. “See? I’m sleeping.” 

“Good. Keep closed.” 

“Uh-huh.” And Napoleon fell asleep. 

He woke up about eight hours later with a stiff neck, and he was mortified to find he’d been sleeping on Peril’s shoulder the entire time. 

“Christ’s sake.” Napoleon muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. 

“Feel better?” Peril said.  

“Yeah.” Napoleon took a deep breath and rolled his head, stretching the muscles in his neck. “Seriously, though. You could of pushed me off.” 

“Could have.” Peril agreed. “Didn’t.” 

“No…” Napoleon paused, looking over at the smirking Russian. “Peril…?” 

“Hmm.” He was at the end of the book he’d started. Napoleon leaned over and blinked.  

“…War and Peace, really?” 

Peril scoffed.

“This is amazing literary achievement. My favorite book with a blend of history and fiction.” 

“I see.” Napoleon replied. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you say.” 

“Well,” Peril retorted, “I can’t expect cowboy to understand fine Russian literature.” 

Napoleon slowly grinned.

“No, you can’t. Tell me more about it?” 

“War and Peace?” 

“Yes?” 

“Do you even know author?” 

“Um…?” 

“Лев Никола́евич Толсто́й.” 

“Uh, what?” 

“You call him Leo Tolstoy.” 

“Leo, huh.” Napoleon repeated. “What a great name.” 

“Hmm.” Peril eyed him. “Yes.” 

To Napoleon’s amazement, Peril kept talking for the next forty-five minutes. He covered War and Peace’s reception in the literary world, the history of Russian aristocracy in the time of the Napoleonic era, and how recent adaptations of the book were terribly inadequate. By the time Peril finished, the plane was descending into New York. As they taxied to the terminal, Napoleon caught Peril’s attention. 

“I’ve got to see you again.” Napoleon said quietly. “You’re brilliant.” 

“I am not opposed to your presence.” Peril replied with a smile of his own. “But I have work.” 

“Right.” Napoleon said. “After work…?” 

“I will call you.”  

“Sounds good. Let me give you my number—“ 

“I have it.” Peril interrupted. 

“What?” Napoleon blurted. “How?” 

“Um,” Peril blushed. “You gave me phone in Moscow.” 

“Peril, for shame.” Napoleon teased. “You didn’t even know I was interested.” 

“I knew.”  

“Yeah?” 

“Knew on plane.” Peril replied. “You watched me sleep.” 

“Well, shit.” Napoleon muttered. “I was being sneaky.” 

Peril chuckled. “Don’t quit day job.” 

“Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> War and Peace is really interesting. Contrary to Illya's opinion, I think there are some modern adaptations that ARE adequate if you don't wish to read the whole book. (It is a massive undertaking and took me ages to get through.) I think the BBC did one in the 70s and I believe they're doing another one currently.
> 
> Thanks for reading! xoxo


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